As you may have discerned from previous posts, I enjoy vagina-related euphemisms. I bring this up only because I have just seen Britney Spear's vagina--more accurately several pictures of her vagina.
In the interest of keeping this blog from completely descending into depravity, I will spare you a list of my favorite vagina-related euphemisms (like "beef curtains" and "Jack Nastyface") , and I will not solicit them from my genteel readership. However, I must admit that the first thing I thought of when I saw this now-infamous vagina was: "plate of lasagna"(a good friend's brilliant, horrific term for a disheveled vagina).
And while I haven't posted the link to the pics here, I trust that most of you are cunning enough to track down said pictures (try googling "Britney Spear's fluffy sausage wallet").
I must say that it's a rather angry lookin' fella--I think it growled at me. But there was a time (maybe 1998) when the sight of this particular vagina would have been the bee's knees, the snail's rails. Now, after K-Fed, a couple of kids, and God knows who/what else have had their run of the place, it's just kind of sad. It's put me in a really weird place.
I don't know, I guess it's just that the sight of that grizzled ol' "muff monster" is a haunting reminder of the unrelenting onslaught of time. I just turned 27, and I'd like to think that I'm impervious to the effects of aging. But, just like Britney's "gooey man trap," I'm getting older, thicker, and a bit worn down.
All is not lost, I hope. I am only 27 years old--less than a third of the way there. Sure, I'm not a 21-year-old anymore, but I've got a lot of life left to live. And even though Britney's "panty hamster" is a bit gnarled, it too has some life left, a lot of pummeling yet to be received.
So, thank you, Britney Spear's "pink-lipped custard sucker." Thank you for reminding me that the best is yet to come.
3 comments:
Reminds me of the good ole days of all the carpet bagging that went on down in the 900 block of Arkansas Street. Just seemed like an endless supply of axe wounds, catcher's mitts, cock caves, crotch cobblers, cum dumpsters, fun tunnels, furry horse collars, gutted hampsters, among others. Hell I only made it through G in my list.
There has been a striking paucity of penis jokes on Mabel recently. That's just not like you, Snakin.
Incidentally, "fuzzy goalposts" might be my favorite.
...so is it lasagna that looks like vagina, or a vagina that looks like lasagna? Regardless, couple o'brews, I'd eat it anyway. mmmmmmmmmmmm.....
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