You've probably heard the news: "Taco Bell removes all green onions." Yeah, I know--devestating. What's next, the removal of all the freshly cut tomatoes that so many migrant workers depend on to remain well below the poverty line?
What is happening to this country? I am seriously considering boycotting Taco Bell. If I can't go into a Taco Bell at 2 a.m. and order my usual (beef nachos bell grande supreme with extra scallions), then I don't want to go at all. Yeah, so there's some E.coli floating around. What's the big deal? Really, can anyone discern the difference between the effects of E.coli and the morning-after effects of a night of drinking and a heaping pile of socially destructive (yet delicious) beef nachos? That's what I thought.
In an attempt at pre-emptive arbitration, I would like to suggest a possible solution. We all agree that the scallion (or green onion as many call it) is the focal ingredient in the Taco Bell flavor profile. With that agreed upon, may I suggest employing the scallion's more sophisticated cousin, the chive. Sure, they're more expensive, but we've got millions of illegal immigrants floating around this country waiting to pillage our manual-labor workforce. Or is I see it, millions of chive-picking amigos. Just a thought.
5 comments:
Leeks?
Keepin' it in the fam--I like. However, raw leeks probably wouldn't work. Flash-fried leeks, though, now that I could get into. And let me just say, CB, that it is an honor to have you in the comments section. Now I'd like to see it from the rest of my frustratingly reticent audience.
Taco Bell scallion is people.
PEEEOPLE!
Keep the chive picking amigos workin'. But on second thought, at a 2am Taco Bell run, my experience would tell me that it may not matter what the little green things on top are. Hell, why not wheat grass? It's green ain't it?
Anonymous, I must emphatically disagree with your belittling assesment of the scallion's place in Taco Bell's culinary identity. Nay, if anything, these "little green things" are the foundation of the flavor fiesta that takes place when shoveling a soggy wad of Tex-Mex gooeyness into one's whiskey-soaked pie hole. And obviously wheat grass would not work. Though green, it lacks the crunch, the mild punch of this our dear allium. No, the chive is our only hope right now. May God, Jesus, or any other available deity have mercy on your soul, and may he/she/it please empower our chive-picking amigos to save this great country from the depths of onionless nachos.
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