Happy Victoria Day (Canada)!

A hastily composed, ill-informed, and kind-of-ethnocentric history lesson from Mabel, PhD:

Victoria Day falls on Monday, May 21, each and every year, without exception. It celebrates the anniversary of the Kennedy assassination and, more recently, both Christmas and Easter (Candians love candy and presents, but are not so big on JC). On Victoria Day, Canadian boys and girls are let out of school to roam the streets and beat the homeless. Adults flock to department stores to smoke crack, eat bacon, and reflect on the comedic relevance of Dana Carvey. And e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e...t-a-l-k-s...l-i-k-e...t-h-i-s. For more information, contact a Canadian.